YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THE PATTERN AND STILL GET PULLED INTO IT
You know yourself pretty well. That doesn’t mean relationships are easy.
You may understand why you react the way you do. You might recognize your patterns, know where they came from, and even have a pretty good idea of what you “should” do differently.
And then the relationship gets hard.
You become more reactive than you want to. You shut down. Overexplain. Second-guess yourself. Give in when you don't want to. Hold everything in until you can't anymore. Or spend hours after an interaction replaying what happened and wondering what you should have said.
Sometimes insight comes easily.
Changing what happens when you're actually in the middle of it can be much harder.
Understanding your pattern is important. Having more choice in what you do next is where things begin to change.
COMPLICATED CAN MEAN A LOT OF THINGS
The relationship bringing you to therapy doesn’t have to be romantic.
Maybe it's your partner.
Maybe it's a parent who can still make you feel like you're 15 years old in approximately four minutes.
Maybe it's someone in your family, a friendship that has become painful or confusing, an ex you still have to interact with, or a coparent you can't exactly remove from your life.
Maybe you're trying to repair a relationship.
Maybe you're deciding whether you want to stay in one.
Or maybe you're trying to accept that another person may not change and figure out what you want to do with that information.
The goal isn't always more closeness. Sometimes it's clarity, boundaries, acceptance, or simply learning how to respond in a way that feels more like you.
Maybe some of this sounds familiar.
- You keep getting pulled into the same conflicts even though you know how they're going to end.
- You react more strongly than you want to and regret it afterward.
- You shut down or avoid difficult conversations because they feel too overwhelming.
- You spend a lot of time analyzing someone else's behavior and trying to figure out what they meant.
- You struggle to set a boundary without feeling guilty, anxious, or responsible for the other person's reaction.
- You know a relationship isn't working the way you want it to, but you're not sure what needs to change.
- You're trying to decide whether to stay, leave, repair, accept, or let go.
- You're dealing with a relationship that you can't simply walk away from.
You don't need the other person to agree that there's a problem before you're allowed to get support with how the relationship is affecting you.
WHERE THE WORK GETS PRACTICAL
You can’t control the other person. There’s still a lot we can work with.
Individual therapy isn't about finding the perfect thing to say that will finally make someone else behave differently.
It's about understanding what happens inside you when a relationship gets difficult and expanding the choices available to you in those moments.
Your reactions
Notice emotional escalation earlier and develop ways to respond before the reaction takes over.
Your patterns
Understand the roles, assumptions, and behaviors you keep falling back into, especially when you're hurt, angry, anxious, or overwhelmed.
Your boundaries
Get clearer about what is yours to communicate, tolerate, change, accept, or step away from.
Your choices
Make decisions based less on the intensity of the moment and more on what actually matters to you.
The goal isn't perfect emotional control. It's having more options than the reaction that usually takes over.
UNDERSTANDING IS PART OF IT
Knowing why you do something doesn’t always stop you from doing it.
Insight matters. I want us to understand why certain relationships or interactions affect you the way they do.
But I also want therapy to be useful when you're no longer sitting in my office.
My approach is active and practical. We may work on noticing emotional escalation sooner, tolerating difficult feelings without immediately acting on them, communicating more effectively, setting boundaries, validating someone without automatically agreeing with them, or figuring out how you want to respond when another person doesn't change.
We'll make sense of the pattern. Then we'll work on what you can actually do with that information.
My individual work is grounded primarily in DBT, with additional influence from CBT and ACT when useful.
Relationships rarely fit into neat little boxes.
You can love someone and need stronger boundaries with them.
You can understand why someone behaves the way they do and still be hurt by it.
You can want a relationship to work and wonder whether it ever will.
You can accept someone as they are and decide that something still needs to change.
Therapy gives us room to hold more than one truth while you figure out what comes next.
Therapy with an actual human.
I'm active in the room. I'll ask questions, point out patterns, teach skills when they're useful, and help you notice when what you're doing isn't getting you where you actually want to go.
I'm warm and direct. I use humor. And while we'll absolutely spend time understanding how you got here, I'm also interested in what happens when you leave my office and have to deal with the relationship in real life.
And no, I'm not going to tell you whether you should stay, leave, forgive, confront, cut someone off, or call your mother.
MORE ABOUT SABA →YES, YOU CAN COME ALONE
What if the relationship is the problem, but my partner won't come to therapy?
You can still come.
There is meaningful work we can do without your partner in the room.
We can look at what happens to you in the relationship, how you respond when things get difficult, what you're responsible for and what you're not, what boundaries may be needed, and what choices are available to you.
Sometimes individual therapy changes how someone participates in a relationship.
Sometimes it brings clarity about what they want from the relationship.
Sometimes it helps them accept what they cannot change.
And sometimes it eventually leads to couples therapy.
Your partner doesn't have to be ready for therapy before you are allowed to start.
BOOK A FREE 15-MINUTE INTRO CALLLooking for more specific support?
Coparenting & Family Transitions
Individual support for anger, reactivity, difficult coparenting interactions, and family changes.
EXPLORE COPARENTING SUPPORT →Individual Stepparent Support
Space to work through belonging, expectations, and your role in a blended family.
EXPLORE STEPPARENT SUPPORT →Walk and Talk Therapy
Interested in meeting outdoors? Learn more about walking sessions and whether they might fit your needs.
EXPLORE WALK AND TALK THERAPY →Questions you might already be wondering about
Do I have to be having a major relationship crisis to come to therapy?
No. You don't need to wait until a relationship is falling apart. Therapy can also be useful when you notice patterns you want to understand, find yourself repeatedly struggling in similar situations, or simply want to handle an important relationship differently.
What if I don't know whether I want to stay in my relationship?
You don't need to arrive with that answer. Individual therapy can give you space to understand what you're experiencing, clarify what matters to you, and make decisions without assuming in advance what the “right” outcome should be.
Will you tell me what to do about the relationship?
No. I'll help you look carefully at what's happening, identify patterns, consider your options, and make decisions that are consistent with your values and circumstances. The decision itself remains yours.
Can my partner join later?
Potentially, depending on the circumstances and whether transitioning into couples work is clinically appropriate. We can talk about the best option if that becomes something you're considering.
The Details
- In person
- 405 Kains Avenue, Suite 201
Albany, CA 94706 - Online
- Throughout California
- Sessions + fee
- $250 for 45 minutes
- Insurance
- I’m an out-of-network provider. I can provide a superbill you can submit to your insurer for possible reimbursement, depending on your plan.
- Getting started
- Free 15-minute intro call
You don’t have to figure out the whole relationship before you ask for help with your part of it.
We’ll use a free 15-minute conversation to talk about what’s bringing you to therapy, answer your questions, and see whether working together feels like a good fit.
BOOK A FREE 15-MINUTE INTRO CALLIndividual therapy in Albany, CA + online throughout California
INDIVIDUAL THERAPY IN ALBANY + ONLINE THROUGHOUT CALIFORNIA
You Don’t Need Someone Else to Come to Therapy for Your Relationships to Change.
When an important relationship keeps leaving you angry, overwhelmed, confused, disconnected, or unsure what to do next, individual therapy gives us a place to work on the part you actually have control over: you.
Your reactions. Your boundaries. Your choices. What you want to do next.
Sound Familiar?
You miss feeling like a team.
The topic changes. The argument feels familiar. One of you keeps trying to explain, the other pulls away, and neither of you feels understood.
You may still care deeply about each other and feel exhausted by what keeps happening between you. Couples therapy can give you a place to slow things down and begin responding differently.
Recognize Some of This
You keep having the same argument, just about different things.
One of you shuts down while the other tries to keep talking.
It feels like you’re roommates more than partners.
Small disagreements turn into bigger fights fast.
You still love each other, but you’re not sure how to find your way back to each other.
Understand the pattern. Practice something different.
We’ll look at what happens when one of you feels hurt, criticized, or overwhelmed and how each response affects what happens next.
Slow down escalation. Recognize when emotions are taking over and practice ways to pause and return to the conversation.
Say what matters. Work on expressing needs and hearing each other without getting pulled into the familiar argument.
Find your way back. Practice repair after conflict and make room for connection in everyday life.
We’ll practice together, with tools to try between sessions. The pace and focus will depend on what your relationship needs.
Hi, I’m Saba.
I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist. I bring warmth, structure, and a willingness to be direct when a conversation gets stuck.
I make room for both of your experiences while helping you notice what each of you can do differently.
My work draws on the Gottman Method for connection and repair, DBT for navigating strong emotions, and my background in mediation and anger management for working through disagreement.
You don’t need to arrive knowing how to communicate perfectly. That’s part of what we can work on together.
There’s room for where you are now.
I work with couples navigating recurring conflict, emotional distance, a breach of trust, or a major life transition.
Some want to rebuild their connection. Some are unsure what comes next. Others want to strengthen a relationship that already matters to them.
We can talk about your situation on the intro call and whether my approach is a good fit.
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It’s common for one partner to feel more hesitant than the other, and that’s okay. A lot of couples start with just one person reaching out. We can talk through any concerns on the free intro call, and there’s no pressure to commit to anything beyond that.
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Talking about it on your own and working through it with support are different things. In session, we slow down enough to notice what’s actually happening between you, not just what you’re arguing about, so the conversation goes somewhere new instead of in circles.
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That uncertainty is a completely valid reason to start therapy. Some couples come in to rebuild, and some come in to get clarity on what’s next either way. My job isn’t to push you toward one outcome. It’s to help you understand what’s happening so you can make that decision with more clarity.
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Sessions are $250 for 45 minutes. I’m not in-network with any insurance plans, but I can provide a superbill you can submit to your insurer for possible out-of-network reimbursement.
Start with a conversation.
You don’t have to figure out the future of your relationship before reaching out.
In a free 15-minute intro call, we’ll talk briefly about what brings you here, what you’re hoping for, and your questions about working together. Then you can decide on a next step.
In person in Albany, serving Berkeley, El Cerrito, and the East Bay.
Online throughout California.